Being Connected

We live in a busy world.
Lots of rushing around.
So many responsibilities.


There's the stress that kids create in a marriage.
There's the concern over money issues.
There are in-law and out-law relationship battles.


How do you and your spouse stay connected?


1. Being connected to your spouse takes time.

2. Being connected to your spouse takes effort.

3. Being connected to your spouse takes perseverance.





From my research, and speaking with couples , I've found most do at least these three things to stay connected with each other (there are other things but these are the top three)

• Plan specific, daily time together ... as an example, one couple will dedicate the first 15 minutes when the husband comes home from work to lay together on their bed, close the door on the children, and talk together.


• Reminisce ... another couple will look through their picture albums to bring back all the happy memories from their life together and then post some of those pictures on their computer monitors as a screen saver


• Write notes ... sometimes those notes are informal sentences on a scrap of paper, or a quick email. Sometimes they're elaborate cards, and sometimes those notes are long letters of appreciation. The magic ingredient in every note is the tangible, written evidence of one spouse reaching out to the other to stay connected.

Do you want to stay connected with your spouse? Try one of these three actions.

Feeling connected to your spouse will create powerful opportunities to encourage. Encouragement can transform your life. So... Stay connected!

Coloring Outside the Lines

Remember using crayons? Every color, every shade in the rainbow (plus a few more) was found in a box of crayons.

Sometimes I would draw my own pictures but more often I'd use a coloring book with the outline of pictures already drawn - the picture defined and waiting to be filled in.

Those line drawings on a white page were waiting for me to use my crayons and bring them to life.

While I was young, the outlines were just suggestions. I knew I could use the entire page and cover it with any color I chose. I could even add to the picture if something was missing. It didn't have to be perfect, just colorful. I delighted in the act of coloring.

As I got older, I concentrated on coloring inside the lines, and choosing my colors carefully to make the picture show artistic skill.

My actions became more about the end product than the process.

If I made a mistake and colored outside the line drawing, or used the wrong color in the wrong place... I'd discard that effort. Only the perfectly colored pictures would end up hanging on the wall or given as a gift.

Now I'm a grown-up - or at least I'm supposed to be.

Color in my life is still important and I have more color in my life than what’s on my walls. Color can manifest far more on the intangible than the exterior, physical part of life.

A colorful life can come from a diverse group of friends, or exhilarating experiences. Color in life can come from learning new things, or growing in a skill.

Encouragement can be a whole rainbow of colors to enhance a relationship.

What if you were to grow in your ability to encourage? What more could be added to your relationship with your spouse if you used encouragement like the box of crayons you had as a child?

You’re telling me that you already encourage.

I believe you.

However, are you careful to stay within the boundaries when encouraging your spouse - using only the tried and true?

That would be like only using a few crayons out of the rainbow pack. We're used to blue, green, yellow, and red and we stick with those colors. What would every color look like - all together - on the page?

Imagine filling your entire spousal relationship canvas using the colors of encouragement.

What effect can the right color have?

• color can cheer
• color can draw attention
• color can enhance a drab interior or exterior
• color can soothe
• color can rejuvenate
• color can change perspective
• color can envelope

And encouragement can do all those things too.

• Inspiring with HOPE can brighten your future.
• Fortifying with FAITH can draw attention to God
• Fostering with Unconditional LOVE can enhance the interior & exterior of any marriage
• Uplifting with persistent PRAYER can soothe fears
• Supporting with joy-filled ZEAL can rejuvenate a tired spirit
• Stimulating with NEW INSIGHT can change perspective in situations
• Validating with INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE can envelope your spouse with acceptance

Add a little encouragement color to your relationship!

Be bold – I challenge you to use all the colors in the box, to color outside the lines and really make an impact!

Water with Encouragement

My house plants get a lot of exercise.

They wilt.

They revive.

They wilt, and they revive once more.

What's the miracle that brings back their strength?

Water. It's a simple thing, yet vital to a plant's ability to live.

In life, we face challenges that can make us wilt.

The drive to succeed can run out of steam.

A will to thrive can sputter to a halt.

The ability to get up, one more time, after a disappointment can seem impossible.

Have you or your spouse ever felt wilted - unable to rebound? What can revive your spouse's drive?

A drink of cool, clear, refreshing Encouragement might make the difference.

Encouragement can take the form of hope - telling your spouse you'll be together to build a bright future. Talking and planning for the future can revive the desire to succeed.

Encouragement can take the form of faith - reminding your spouse of the greatness of God, and how God can make a difference in your lives. Encouragement ends in the letter "t". The shape of the cross. Bringing your spouse (literally or figuratively) to a point they can experience Christ will encourage them.

Encouragement can take the form of love - love that's based on who your spouse is, not a reflection of their behavior. Showing love through intimate, physical touch can encourage them.

Encouragement can take the form of prayer - the silent prayer between God and you, asking the One who can change circumstances for help. Or letting your spouse hear you pray for them - that will bring encouragement.

Encouragement can take the form of joy-filled zeal - the pitching in with physical labor, the lending a hand in a practical way, or the simple act of "being present" for your spouse is a way to encourage.

Encouragement can take the form of new insight - ideas and suggestions, research into a problem, or referring them to someone who has been in their situation will encourage your spouse.

Encouragement can take the form of validating them with your intimate knowledge - you know your spouse best. You're an expert on your spouse. Help them see themselves through your eyes - give them a picture of the amazing person you know.

7 ways to give your spouse a needed, and life-giving drink of water - Encouragement.

If you encourage your spouse more than I water my plants... maybe you'll even prevent a wilting of their spirit!

What does the mirror reflect?

I've been "lurking" - reading and being encouraged - on a forum since December. It's connected to a Christian web-site for mothers at home and their purpose is to encourage women in their profession of motherhood.

On this forum I read a thread called "Dh (dear husband) Praises". Amazing.

These ladies were looking at their husband's behavior and noticing the good stuff. This good stuff included everything from taking care of children, to doing household chores, to reaching out to comfort and include someone, to earning an income to provide for their family and more. Sometimes I could tell some wives forced themselves to search for the good - and it wasn't easy - yet they were successful in finding it.

I've never met these ladies or their husbands. However, through their praises I "saw" a reflection of these men. These reflections showed me good men - men who were valued.

Now I have a question for you.

How does your spouse appear using the mirror of your words?

When you talk about your spouse to friends, co-workers, family or the store clerk, what impression will those people take with them? Are you reflecting a positive image of your spouse?

I can hear you now -telling me that you're so frustrated with all the things your spouse can't or won't do - you're telling me how disappointed you are - you're telling me you want what you used to have and why can't it be like that again - you're telling me how afraid of the future you are if things stay the same. I hear you. I do.

Is reflecting all the concerns, negatives, and disappointments helping you in any way? Is it making things better?

Yes, I know we all need to vent and unburden ourselves at times, or we'll b-l-o-w. I'm no different.

That's where a strong prayer life - an intimate connection with God - fills the void. I unburden myself to Him. I complain, and lament, and rage, and plead, and mutter ... but when I'm done I force myself to find something to be thankful about. That's why that thread, and those ladies on the forum who praised their husbands touched my heart so deeply.

So. Here's my question again - How does your spouse "look" in the mirror of your words?

If the reflection of your spouse isn't a positive one, it's in your power to change it.

Reflect the good stuff. Search for the good stuff. Make it a habit to only talk about the good stuff to others. Practice this long enough and you'll see the "new" reflection too ...

And wouldn't that change your life? Become your spouse's mirror - reflect only the positive.