What does the mirror reflect?

I've been "lurking" - reading and being encouraged - on a forum since December. It's connected to a Christian web-site for mothers at home and their purpose is to encourage women in their profession of motherhood.

On this forum I read a thread called "Dh (dear husband) Praises". Amazing.

These ladies were looking at their husband's behavior and noticing the good stuff. This good stuff included everything from taking care of children, to doing household chores, to reaching out to comfort and include someone, to earning an income to provide for their family and more. Sometimes I could tell some wives forced themselves to search for the good - and it wasn't easy - yet they were successful in finding it.

I've never met these ladies or their husbands. However, through their praises I "saw" a reflection of these men. These reflections showed me good men - men who were valued.

Now I have a question for you.

How does your spouse appear using the mirror of your words?

When you talk about your spouse to friends, co-workers, family or the store clerk, what impression will those people take with them? Are you reflecting a positive image of your spouse?

I can hear you now -telling me that you're so frustrated with all the things your spouse can't or won't do - you're telling me how disappointed you are - you're telling me you want what you used to have and why can't it be like that again - you're telling me how afraid of the future you are if things stay the same. I hear you. I do.

Is reflecting all the concerns, negatives, and disappointments helping you in any way? Is it making things better?

Yes, I know we all need to vent and unburden ourselves at times, or we'll b-l-o-w. I'm no different.

That's where a strong prayer life - an intimate connection with God - fills the void. I unburden myself to Him. I complain, and lament, and rage, and plead, and mutter ... but when I'm done I force myself to find something to be thankful about. That's why that thread, and those ladies on the forum who praised their husbands touched my heart so deeply.

So. Here's my question again - How does your spouse "look" in the mirror of your words?

If the reflection of your spouse isn't a positive one, it's in your power to change it.

Reflect the good stuff. Search for the good stuff. Make it a habit to only talk about the good stuff to others. Practice this long enough and you'll see the "new" reflection too ...

And wouldn't that change your life? Become your spouse's mirror - reflect only the positive.

Inspire with Hope - being an optimist will help!

According to research there's only a 25% chance you've been born with an optimist's DNA ...

However, there's a whole group of people walking around this planet choosing to look at the good in life - hoping for a great future.
We choose how we're going to behave. Are you choosing to be an optimist?

Here's why being optimistic will help you inspire yourself and your spouse with hope ...

1) If you are optimistic, you're more likely to set goals - having hope for a great future.

2) If you are optimistic, your goals will lead you to develop (new) skills, and practice those skills to achieve your goals. Taking action toward your goals is a sign of an optimist.

3) If you are optimistic, your new, practiced skills will create a feeling of "flow"* - of being competent, and in control. Then you'll enjoy successful outcomes.

4) If you are optimistic, your successful outcomes will make you feel and act with joy, leading you to more hope for a greater future.

It's a cycle - become an optimist and inspire with hope! Encourage your spouse.

To learn more go to www.encourageyourspouse.com

* Flow is a concept proposed by positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.