Why are you encouraging your spouse? Focus on the big picture.

Sometimes when you give your spouse that little verbal pat on the back, it can be done without much thought. He or she does something nice, performs well, or needs a positive word, and you respond. No biggie. Easily accomplished. Moving on to more important things…


There’s an oft-used story about three bricklayers’ attitude to their work that can be used to illustrate this:
The story goes, that three bricklayers are working side by side.

They’re asked by a visitor, "What are you doing?"

The first bricklayer replies, "I'm laying bricks to earn a living. My family needs to eat."

The second bricklayer answers, "I’m laying bricks to build this wall. A guy over there taught me what to do and everyday I show up to put one brick on top of another. I guess someday they’ll tell me I’m done and I’ll move on to another wall."

The third bricklayer when asked the very same question, "What are you doing?", responds, "I'm building a cathedral. It’ll be to the honor and glory of God. I’m helping to create something for my family - my children and grandchildren will benefit along with generations who will come here to praise and honor God. It’ll be so beautiful. Would you like to help along?”

As you enter 2009, and work on your relationship with your spouse, ask yourself “Why am I encouraging?”

Do you encourage just because it fulfills a need, or it’s what you know you’re supposed to do?

Or do you encourage your spouse because you have a vision of how life could be great together – filled with purpose and peace?

Keep your eye on the greater purpose – the macro picture – as you encourage your spouse! Make 2009 a year to celebrate.