There's a couple I've been researching and "following" on Twitter - Gail and Michael Hyatt. They appear to have a marriage where encouragement has had an impact.
Michael Hyatt's Twitter bio reads: "CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, avid blogger, husband to @GailHyatt, father of five daughters." He also is a deliberate leader. He writes in his blog:
"...“You and I both know that people today crave leadership. They are dying for role models. They want to see what good leadership looks like—as it is lived out in the challenges of everyday life.”
I continued, “If you are living your life on-purpose, like I know you are, then by Twittering, you are modeling something worth emulating. This is unquestionably the most powerful way to lead.” "
http://michaelhyatt.com/2009/07/twitter-as-a-leadership-tool.html
Gail Hyatt has supported and encouraged her husband in his activities for over 30 years while raising their daughters.
She states in her Twitter profile she is "married to @michaelhyatt, mother to 5 M's, grandmommy to 4, Christ follower, Orthodox Christian".
Gail often travels with her husband and refers to him in her "tweets". She advocates for World Vision, is active in her church activities, spends time helping and adding value to friends & family and writes thought provoking blog posts. (I'm sure there are many other activities not made public - she's someone I'd love to meet!)
Last Valentines Day, Michael Hyatt wrote a post about the top ten things he loves about his wife. http://michaelhyatt.com/2009/02/what-i-love-about-my-wife.html It's a wonderfully affirming list and sketches a three-dimentional picture of a unique woman.
Gail Hyatt responded by writing her own post about her "super-human" husband and her ideas of what her relationship with her husband can hold. Toward the middle of the post, she wrote:
"Early on I asked myself what will be my unique contribution? How can I balance this out? Lots of things came to mind, but THE most important thing I chose to cultivate was a heart of appreciation and the practice of encouragement. It’s proven to be the best gift I could possibly give to Mike and to my family as well."
http://gailbhyatt.wordpress.com/2009/02/14/a-super-human-husband
Here are two people building a marriage over the last 30 years. Through their public, written words and actions they show they value each other.
What 10 attributes do you value most about your spouse? In what way have they made a difference in your life?
Showing posts with label encouraging couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouraging couples. Show all posts
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Encouraging Couples - John & Margaret Maxwell
I've been searching for couples, living in the public eye, who value the encouragement their spouse provides. Because I don't know them personally, the only way I can gauge their appreciation is by their outward, public behavior and written words.
Robert and I have been reading John Maxwell's books for almost 10 years and have attended a couple of his conferences. We find his leadership books, both secular and faith-based, valuable. John often refers to his wife, Margaret and her role in his life.
In one of his latest books, Put Your Dream to the Test, he both dedicates his book to Margaret but also tells a very moving story of how she made him feel empowered in his dream to be a great leader.
On page 115-116 he tells how, shortly after finishing college and getting married, his first church in rural Indiana could only offer him a small $80 a week salary. And even though it was a part-time salary, Margaret supported him in giving all his energy to the church.
She declared his dream verbally to the church leaders and followed through with her encouragement by working three jobs so he could feel empowered to pursue his dream to be a great leader.
John Maxwell concludes his story by saying, "None of my dreams would have come true without her".
Margaret Maxwell's encouragement and support of her spouse has definitely made difference in the world! She is a great example.
John Maxwell tells the story much better than I can - I encourage you to read it for yourself! http://www.amazon.com/Put-Your-Dream-Test-Questions/dp/0785214127/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249319733&sr=8-1
Robert and I have been reading John Maxwell's books for almost 10 years and have attended a couple of his conferences. We find his leadership books, both secular and faith-based, valuable. John often refers to his wife, Margaret and her role in his life.
In one of his latest books, Put Your Dream to the Test, he both dedicates his book to Margaret but also tells a very moving story of how she made him feel empowered in his dream to be a great leader.
On page 115-116 he tells how, shortly after finishing college and getting married, his first church in rural Indiana could only offer him a small $80 a week salary. And even though it was a part-time salary, Margaret supported him in giving all his energy to the church.
She declared his dream verbally to the church leaders and followed through with her encouragement by working three jobs so he could feel empowered to pursue his dream to be a great leader.
John Maxwell concludes his story by saying, "None of my dreams would have come true without her".
Margaret Maxwell's encouragement and support of her spouse has definitely made difference in the world! She is a great example.
John Maxwell tells the story much better than I can - I encourage you to read it for yourself! http://www.amazon.com/Put-Your-Dream-Test-Questions/dp/0785214127/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1249319733&sr=8-1
Support your spouse with joy-filled zeal.
It will make them feel empowered!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Results from 100% + 100%
Last week I spent an afternoon with a couple who have been married 50+ years. Their life is a true example of how encouraging your spouse - supporting with joy-filled zeal - makes life rich and fulfilling.
They began their married life when they were quite young - at least compared to today's couples. They had three children, one of whom is hearing impaired.
Carrying on over the next 50 years, they built their first house together, fought for changes in state policy for the deaf, grew a congregation as a minister and wife, and took care of an elderly parent in their home. In addition, the wife returned to college to get an undergraduate degree and then a masters degree, once the children were grown. They also traveled the globe, and have done things many of us haven't attempted yet.
As I sat listening, I heard how working together in areas that they valued brought them both laughter, joy and tangible success.
From the story of how she got a wheel-barrow for her birthday because they were building their first home, to how he would pick her up at her job and take her to college classes, then drive her back to her job (making sure she had a packed lunch to eat), to venturing out of their comfort zone and going white-water rafting when they were in their sixties - those stories showed me a picture of two people working together to make a great life.
They didn't count the cost of the effort they put into their marriage.
There are two things this couple wanted me to communicate to other married people:
1) trust is the most important part of marriage
2) each spouse must give 100% to the marriage (not 50/50) 100% from him & 100% from her
So what is the result of their trust in each other and each gifting the other 100% ? They have a marriage story showing tangible results echoing their values:
They began their married life when they were quite young - at least compared to today's couples. They had three children, one of whom is hearing impaired.
Carrying on over the next 50 years, they built their first house together, fought for changes in state policy for the deaf, grew a congregation as a minister and wife, and took care of an elderly parent in their home. In addition, the wife returned to college to get an undergraduate degree and then a masters degree, once the children were grown. They also traveled the globe, and have done things many of us haven't attempted yet.
As I sat listening, I heard how working together in areas that they valued brought them both laughter, joy and tangible success.
From the story of how she got a wheel-barrow for her birthday because they were building their first home, to how he would pick her up at her job and take her to college classes, then drive her back to her job (making sure she had a packed lunch to eat), to venturing out of their comfort zone and going white-water rafting when they were in their sixties - those stories showed me a picture of two people working together to make a great life.
They didn't count the cost of the effort they put into their marriage.
There are two things this couple wanted me to communicate to other married people:
1) trust is the most important part of marriage
2) each spouse must give 100% to the marriage (not 50/50) 100% from him & 100% from her
So what is the result of their trust in each other and each gifting the other 100% ? They have a marriage story showing tangible results echoing their values:
- marriage - a solid, growing marriage relationship of over 50 years
- personal growth - the freedom for each to develop and pursue their desires and interests
- faith - they attend, now in retirement, the same congregation they were instrumental in growing
- education - a degree and master's degree
- family involvement - the satisfaction of nurturing a parent until she passed away
- advocacy - a state organization of parents advocating for their deaf children
- improving the world for their children - changes in state legislation in how deaf children are educated
- hard work - a house that still stands which they built together
- adventure - they have travel and life experiences to share
Guess what? This couple isn't done yet! They're ready for more together, and I'm sure they'll do it all with joy-filled zeal.
I have a lot to learn from them.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Know what makes your spouse feel special!
Recently I spent time with a couple who have been married for 53 years. They still hold hands.
As I sat with them following dinner I looked over, and their hands were clasped. 53 years married, 6 children, 16 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren - and they hold hands.
What's kept them together, holding hands, and respecting each other? Probably lots of things, however one story stood out.
They had six small children, one income, and times were tough. He worked hard in his profession, and also served as a minister on weekends and visited church members every evening. She was responsible for things at home.
Imagine being a young mom with your husband working all day, and helping other people on the weekends and during the evenings... Yet she knew she was special and valued - despite very little time or money. How?
After visiting church members into the late evening, he would stop by a convenience store and buy a coconut covered, individual sized cake. He would present it to her. Just her.
She called it a "ho-ho", and I've since learned its name is a Hostess® Sno Ball®. It became America’s most famous pink snack cake, and celebrates 60 years as one of America’s favorite treats.
So what really happened that she felt special? Was it the cake? Not really.
He made the conscious decision to think about her - and took action to show it.
When was the last time you deliberately took action to give something to your spouse they valued - to make them feel special?
Don't tell me you don't have the money. Money is not required. Knowledge of your spouse is ...
First - understand what your spouse values - what makes them feel special. Next, you need to take action.
Intimate Knowledge - then action. It's one way to encourage your spouse.
As I sat with them following dinner I looked over, and their hands were clasped. 53 years married, 6 children, 16 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren - and they hold hands.
What's kept them together, holding hands, and respecting each other? Probably lots of things, however one story stood out.
They had six small children, one income, and times were tough. He worked hard in his profession, and also served as a minister on weekends and visited church members every evening. She was responsible for things at home.
Imagine being a young mom with your husband working all day, and helping other people on the weekends and during the evenings... Yet she knew she was special and valued - despite very little time or money. How?
After visiting church members into the late evening, he would stop by a convenience store and buy a coconut covered, individual sized cake. He would present it to her. Just her.
She called it a "ho-ho", and I've since learned its name is a Hostess® Sno Ball®. It became America’s most famous pink snack cake, and celebrates 60 years as one of America’s favorite treats.
So what really happened that she felt special? Was it the cake? Not really.
He made the conscious decision to think about her - and took action to show it.
When was the last time you deliberately took action to give something to your spouse they valued - to make them feel special?
Don't tell me you don't have the money. Money is not required. Knowledge of your spouse is ...
First - understand what your spouse values - what makes them feel special. Next, you need to take action.
Intimate Knowledge - then action. It's one way to encourage your spouse.
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