People are hurting financially, and emotionally. Even if you're not directly affected by the economic climate, you may struggle. Sometimes worries afflict - the worst-case scenario plays over and over in your mind, zapping strength and motivation.
Perhaps you're not feeling particularly strong these days.
"Lean on me when you're not strong..." the first stanza of that popular song says. Who can you lean on? Who can provide strength?
As Christians we lean on Jesus - He can fulfill all our needs in a perfect way. He's first.
Maybe we can also lean on our parents, or friends, or extended family.
Can we also lean on our spouse?
We can if they really know us:
- We can lean on our spouse if they know our needs.
- We can lean on our spouse if they know our fears.
- We can lean on our spouse if they know what brings us joy.
- We can lean on our spouse if they know what motivates us.
- We can lean on our spouse if they know what we value.
Being encouraged isn't all about the other person taking action. Your participation in the process is necessary. Have you taken the time to share intimate knowledge of yourself with your spouse? They're not mind readers, you know.
God knows all things - not your spouse!
If you're feeling the need to lean - to be encouraged - I challenge you to arrange an intimate, quiet few hours with your spouse. Tell them you want to be alone together to talk and you need them to listen.
Is this idea scary?
Most of us don't walk around naked - either in body or spirit. Sharing hearts - being naked emotionally - is much harder than climbing into bed to experience physical intimacy with your spouse. It can feel excruciating to expose deep emotions.
It's OK to begin small. Uncover one aspect of what you're feeling at the start. Try exposing only one fear to your spouse. They may surprise you and provide a loving shoulder to lean on. That's one way to feel encouraged - to feel validated because your spouse has intimate knowledge of who you are.
Validating with intimate knowledge may be the most elusive of all the seven encouragement actions because it requires transparency. Emotional intimacy doesn't come easily. Guessing will not work when your spouse wants to validate your needs, fears, or joys. Your spouse needs something to work with and it's up to you to share.
God can use your spouse to encourage you. After you've taken your concerns to the Lord in prayer, try sharing with the one you married. Experience how your spouse's ability to encourage you will deepen - from a puddle to a bottomless well.
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