Adding Value - Where does it start?

On our drive to Canada, Robert and I discussed how much we admire our friends and the value they add to our lives - just by living as the people God made them to be.

One over-arching quality found in the people at our anniversary celebration is faith. Faith in and for God. Our friends' faith in God has impacted Robert & I by -

Modeling a life of faith - dedicated to serving God.

• The minister who married Robert and I has retired, yet remains dedicated to spreading the gospel of Christ to all nations. (just as directed in the 25th chapter of Matthew) He and his wife spent years in Asia working to bring God's Word to all they met and still have a heart for those from Asia who now make their home in North America. And even though they are a married couple - working together - each has maintained their separate identity as individuals. They're an awesome team.



• Some of our friends use their God-given talent to praise Him - singing & playing instruments as soloists, in small groups, leading worship or in a choir.



• Others spend hours each week preparing to serve and teach - either behind an altar, in youth activities, Sunday School or just quietly with those they meet who need a word of encouragement. They have been faithful (faith-filled) for years - regardless of age and financial or health concerns.

Adding value to others begins with who we are and how we lead the life God has given us.

Do you strengthen - fortify - those around you (and your spouse)

with your depth and breadth of faith in God?

Our friends and family do and that's one way they've impacted our life!

Launching the next 25 Years

Robert and I just returned from a wonderful experience - celebrating with friends and family who shared in our wedding 25 years ago.

Through the last 25 years many of the group have remained close and we've shared our thoughts, feelings, joys and sorrows. We spent a little time during our celebration expressing how thankful we were to have these people in our life and the impact they made on us.

As Robert and I wrote out our "one-liners" to bring tribute to these special people, it caused us to reflect on how blessed we've been in learning things from others which have directly contributed to the success of our marriage.

Over the next days I'll highlight all the value our friends and family have provided for us.

Maybe it'll cause you to reflect on what your loved ones have contributed to your relationship!

Cheers!

25 years later

Once apon a time, in a country far away, there were two young people with their whole lives ahead of them....

They met when they were 15 and 17 years old and from then onward looked for every opportunity to spend time together.

They grew in friendship and love and then decided to share the rest of their life together.

On May 27, 1984 those two young friends married.

That's us - Robert & Lori - 25 years ago.

The last 25 years together have been no less than interesting. We've grown close as a couple - our values and dreams have become meshed, and our favorite activity together is to talk & plan for the future. Robert has been my greatest encourager, and I work to be his.

We've grown in our faith and served the Lord wherever we lived. We've had 2 children, homeschooled those children, and then watched them grow till they became adults. We've made friends, said goodbye to friends, and made new friends. We've moved to another country, experienced big city life with a pool, and rural life with horses in the back pasture. Through it all we rejoice over how the Lord blessed us (even in the not-so-nice times).

I wonder what the next 25 years will bring?

My favorite books ...

Robert and I are always reading - usually on topics like leadership, ministry, business and, of course, marriage.


Once we've read a book we'll encourage the other to read it or share the insights and information we've learned as we drive somewhere. (we do a lot of driving)


I've come across some great resources, both for practical advice and fascinating insight, to enrich our marriage.

Here's a list of 10 valuable books (in no particular order) I can recommend:


1. The 5 Love Languages ... by Gary Chapman

2. Relationships by Les & Leslie Parrott

3. Pray Big for Your Marriage... by Will Davis

4. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman

5. The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb

6. Love is a Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent

7. Shower Her with Roses by Tony M. Stevens

8. I Do Again by Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs

9. Building Your Mate's Self Esteem by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

10. The Second Half of Marriage... by David and Claudia Arp



Next time you're in a book store (or at the library) take a look at one or two of these.


Enjoy!

Did you know that there's over 100 synonyms for encourage?

Here's a word cloud from http://www.wordle.net/

exploring a few of the words connected to encouragement:

An experiment...

Last week I gave a few note cards to the ladies in a group to which I belong. Their mission - should they decide to accept it - was to write a positive thought to encourage someone they loved. I wanted to see if they received any feedback from their notes.

The note cards are from a company I highlighted earlier - Smiles Made Easy - (http://encourageyourspouse.blogspot.com/2008/10/making-connection.html .

I'll be meeting tomorrow with the group again. We'll see what kind of response they received ...

3 really easy steps to Celebrate the Good Stuff

Celebrations are fun. They commemorate the Good Stuff in life. However, between a husband and wife, those special occasion celebrations are often few and far between.

Now, think about a special occasion - a time when you wanted to celebrate. What ingredients went into that event? Chances are you were together with someone you cared about, you ate something, and there might have even been a lit candle or two.

When last did you light a candle while eating a meal with your spouse?

OK. Maybe I should ask a different question...

When was the last time you ate a meal with your spouse:

• just the two of you,


• sitting down at a table,


• looking at each other (not at the television)?

As I talk with more couples I'm seeing a trend - and it's worrisome. The longer a couple is married, and the more responsibility they carry, the less time they set aside to celebrate life with each other. (except for their anniversary.) Am I describing your relationship?

Maybe you can't change the number of responsibilities in your life. Maybe your children aren't old enough to leave home yet, so being alone with your spouse is almost impossible. I know. There are lots of reasons not to spend time together - not to take the time to celebrate.

However, spending time with your spouse is part of the Good Stuff in life. The Good Stuff needs to be celebrated.

So, to create the habit of celebrating the Good Stuff in life, here's my proposition:

What I'm proposing isn't major, just a slight shift. One thing every human must do is eat and drink. What if you ate one meal this week - or even shared a piece of cut-up fruit as a midnight snack - alone with your spouse? And what if you lit a candle (one of those ingredients of a celebration) and ate, sitting down, together? I imagine could make you both smile.

3-steps to Celebrate the Good Stuff

1. Light a candle.


2. Look into your spouse's eyes as you sit at a table.


3. Share a bite to eat & raise your glass to toast the Good Stuff in life - your relationship!

It's that easy to celebrate the Good Stuff in life. Make it a habit and feel special!