I thought I'd tell you how my own encouragement experiences work out - they're not always as successful as I plan them to be. We often say that I'm all about the process and he's focused on the product. Fortunately, Robert sees the good in what I try.
Here's an example where one try at encouraging my spouse didn't quite work as well as I'd hoped:
A little over a month ago Robert began, as happens to many, grappling with issues at work and church. His other responsibilities in life began to weigh heavily. Then like an unexpected ice-storm, the doom-'n-gloom economic climate seemed to freeze-over his usual positive outlook.
Maybe it was time for a little extra encouragement. But what to do?
All my words of hope couldn't seem to melt the weight of his worries. I was already praying and he both knew I was and heard me pray. I thought I'd try fortifying his faith in God's control over circumstances using verses from the Bible.
I found a stack of 2" x 3" cards with Bible verses (they were from a desk calendar my son had) and chose eighteen or twenty verses I thought might have an impact. Then I placed one card in his medicine cabinet next to his shaver so he would see it he started his day. After I placed the first card, I waited expectantly for a comment from him. Nothing.
So I changed the card to another Bible verse. It was a powerful verse. Still no acknowledgement.
A week or so later I put a new card in the medicine cabinet - this time next to his toothbrush. Not a word from Robert about the newest addition to his cabinet.
Well, I thought I couldn't be doing anything harmful, and I was determined not to be discouraged. I kept replacing those Bible verse cards every so often.
About five weeks later, we were packing for a weekend trip, and Robert finally said, "Thanks for the Bible cards."
Wow - he DID notice!
I wanted to know if it had helped him - which verse he liked best. That question highlighted what I hadn't taken into account. Robert recently started wearing reading glasses. He doesn't need them to shave or to brush his teeth, so every time he went into the bathroom, he saw the card, but the writing was so small he couldn't read it!
My attempt to encourage had been foiled in an unexpected way.
We laughed together over the issues of getting older.
And the next card I found to put into his medicine cabinet had really big writing so he could read it without his glasses!
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