Thursday, November 19, 2009

Using Our Stash

I've been sewing costumes the last two weeks - costumes for a children's Christmas program. (You know the scenario - young children singing and playing the parts of Mary, Joseph, shepherds, angels and wisemen, with parents and grandparents looking on, beaming smiles and mouthing the words they've taught their little ones.)

To begin this self-imposed task, I found a pattern to fit multiple sizes. That was easy.

Then I hunted for the fabric I'd stashed throughout the house. This is fabric I've had for years - it's all good stuff, not cheap - and every piece has some emotional value attached.

So why haven't I used the stuff?

  • There are only scraps - Years ago I made our children clothes and I've carted the left-over scraps from one house to the next, but never had a plan on what to make. Maybe I was apprehensive someone would notice the recycled fabric or that I wouldn't have enough to make an entire project, or more likely I wasn't quite ready to let go of the little pieces that had memories attached.
  • My great ideas weren't so great - I've had brilliant ideas to create household decorations/window coverings/gifts, and then enthusiastically bought what I needed but... well.... never quite followed through...
  • I didn't have a clue - Once upon a time I fell in love with a piece of fabric (or two... or ten) - it's color, or design or texture - and I never found anything worthy of it, or I didn't think I had the skill to make proper use of that gorgeous length of textile.

You know, after all these years, it's been a uniquely satisfying experience to finally create something using this stash.

Taking action to create a complete piece - to choose and combine the right fabric and colors for each costume from what is only in my stash - is exhilarating. My goal for this project was not to purchase, just use what I already have, and I'm feeling successful. Just finally using the stuff feels good.

Now, what does this have to do with encouragement?

Have you stashed away your encouragement?

Have you tucked it away, waiting for a better time, or more time? Have you withheld your encouragement because of emotional baggage- or just not made the effort because you don't feel like it ?

Perhaps you've not been supportive when you could've lent a hand. Or you've gotten too busy or you're just too tired to spend time - time in prayer for your spouse, or time spent listening to understand what's really going on in their heart and mind.

Do you believe your ideas aren't good enough - you're not educated enough, or creative enough to provide insight? Or do you fail to contribute when you could add value or offer a solution to a problem because you're being stubborn?

What if you've been too discouraged to hope - to unearth a bright ray of shining hope for yourself or your husband?

Are you tired of offering the same-old-same-old words? Do you think your spouse is tired of hearing the same-old-same-old and you just can't do it even one more time because it doesn't feel like it helped in the past so why would it help now?

What's happened to your encouraging words and actions? Are you encouraging your spouse? At all?

Here's what I learned while making these costumes with my "stash" that I'd been hoarding for multiple reasons. It relates to encouraging your spouse:
  • Just do it. Take action. Bite the bullet. Reach out. Use what you have and don't be afraid of making mistakes. In the end it will be worth it - you'll feel good.
  • Even the smallest bit adds value. Small things fill in the gaps. And with the gaps filled, the whole piece is improved.
  • Look at the bigger picture. When you pay attention to the end product, you'll see how all the pieces can fit together. You'll become inspired and see that what you have will be enough.
  • Old is good. By reusing left-overs, the past is made new.
  • Satisfaction comes from action. Seeing what you've done with what you have feels good.

Come on -

you can do it again -

Encourage Your Spouse!



Friday, October 2, 2009

Encouragement Thought

It's Friday again... (where does the week go?)





Encouragement is about caring ...


not fixing!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The value of encouragement...

lies in the change it stimulates.

Just plain-old "rah-rahing" won't make a lasting difference in your spouse's life. (or yours) What does your spouse need?

Does your spouse need to...
  • be optimistic about the future? Inspire them with Hope.


  • trust God more? Fortify them with Faith.


  • feel secure? Foster them with Love.


  • feel protected? Uplift them with persistent Prayer.


  • feel empowered? Support them with joy-filled Zeal.


  • see options? Stimulate them with New Insight.


  • feel valued? Validate them with Intimate Knowledge.

Target your encouragement
and notice how your world changes!

Friday, September 18, 2009

An Encouragement Thought - Turn Toward Your Spouse

It's Friday - here's a thought on encouraging your spouse...

When your spouse makes a comment - respond! (in a positive way, of course)



Dr. John Gottman*, a relationship expert, says couples who turn toward each other - and connect - have a higher chance of remaining in a happy marriage.

Encouraging your spouse isn't difficult - it's just about paying attention, then taking action. Even if it's just common chitchat about an unimportant topic, responding in a positive way will keep you both turned toward each other.








*Great research - fascinating book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. ISBN: 0-609-80579-7

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Completely off topic... (I just had to share)*

Boy, has the fur been flying here. There's been yowling and frantic swipes with claws extended...

No, I'm not talking about Rob and I - it's the cats we "inherited" when we moved into our rural house. (the young girl up the street started out with two cats, and they have... hmmmm.... increased in number)

They're outdoor cats and take care of rodents, snakes, spiders and frogs for me! Over the last four years I've given in and begun feeding them and in gratitude they leave all sundry of "gifts" at the door - including gnawed-on (dead) frogs and a squirrel's tail (just the tail). Those six cats have adopted Robert and I. Every now and again a new cat will show up, but be promptly chased away. By Garfield.

Five out the six cats tolerate me, but Garfield, the orange, male, alpha cat, loves me. He really does. Whenever I come out on the deck he emerges from whatever sheltered spot he's been sleeping in and hops up where I can pet him. And does he purr... (it's loud enough to hear through the sunroom glass)
If I'm writing outside, he'll hop onto the table and the only way I can carry on working is if I push him off. If I'm looking out at the pasture, he'll hop onto the deck railing and try to crawl into my arms to snuggle.

It's odd. He's quite stand-offish with the other cats, but with me, he shows his love.

Today and yesterday have been cool and drippy - not quite raining, but everything is soggy. I think the cats are a little out-of-sorts... This morning there was a a show down between Garfield and an interloper - his younger look-alike!
First I heard the yowling. I thought someone was in pain...

Then I saw Garfield had his look-alike cornered. They attacked each other with claws and teeth, rolling all over the deck in a fury of flying orange fur.
Here's what's left:



Finally the younger gave up and ran away - I caught a picture of him looking at Garfield from the safety of the pond:



And Garfield just sat on the deck looking satisfied:




The other cats are keeping their distance:


*I know. This is completely off the topic of encouragement.
But I just felt like sharing what excitement rules my days as I'm working on my book. (Encourage Your Spouse).






















Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thank your spouse... today!


'Feeling gratitude
and not expressing it
is like wrapping a present
and not giving it.'

William Ward (1921-1994 - inspirational author)

Great quote, huh?*

I value Robert's ability to persevere. It's one of his main core values and he's demonstrated that quality all through our married life. I probably value that quality because I struggle in that area... ;-)


When was the last time you thanked your spouse for their good qualities - those qualities you value?

Take time today - say it, put it in a card, email it or text - and let the one you love know how thankful you feel!





* ... just a little confession... the reason this quote made such an impact on me is that I'm feeling guilty. Why? I have this present and a hand-made thank-you card sitting in a drawer - it's for a special couple who invited us over for a wonderful dinner and evening in June. Yes, I know. June... :-(

Monday, September 14, 2009

What will your spouse anticipate?

It's interesting - when I step out on the deck in the early morning, the horses come to the fence.

Why?

They expect something good from me.

What do I do?

I feed them carrots, pet and pat them, and praise them softly.
Those actions aren't over-the-top, amazing and outstanding... they're just ways I show the horses how much I like them.

That's what encouraging is about - it's taking action to give your spouse good things.

  • new ideas to "chew" on when confronted with challenges
  • a comforting or soothing touch to show your love
  • and words of praise for their good qualities

When your spouse sees you first thing in the morning, do they anticipate something good?